Monographic lecture: Social competences - building interpersonal relations WF-R-PS-WMKS

Interpersonal behaviour is the basis of human social activity. It is a natural human tendency to initiate, create, and develop interpersonal relations, which form the basis of social bonds. Interpersonal relations fulfil the need for belonging, closeness, and communication with others; they are also derived from the survival motif (Aronson, 2011). Interpersonal behaviours stem from the social character of human life. They are initiated by other people, but they are also directed towards others. These behaviours define interpersonal relations, which can be roughly divided into positive behaviours, e.g., helping others, and negative behaviours, e.g., aggression (Fiske et al., 2010).
Interpersonal competences are tied to specific personal traits, which increase the effectiveness of one’s existence within interpersonal relations. Such competences appear in specific situations and make one’s behaviour more effective. These competences enable the initiation of contact and the development of relations with other people in a variety of social situations. Interpersonal competences form skills that condition effective self-management and a high effectiveness in relations with others (Baumeister and Vohs, 2007). Moreover, these competences enable effective establishment and sustenance of interpersonal contacts, coping with difficulties and conflicts, organisation of one’s and others’ work and constructive implementation of novel ideas. Since most of our behaviour is of an interpersonal nature, knowing one’s capabilities in that area is indispensable in everyday personal and professional life. Some of the most important interpersonal competences are: effectiveness in dealing with specific interpersonal challenges and the ability to undertake adequate actions in the given situation; the range of interpersonal challenges with which one can effectively deal; and satisfaction derived from one interpersonal contacts and relations, and from one’s social standing (Cialdini, 2007).
Buhrmester and others (1988) singled out five kinds of competences essential to coping in interpersonal situations: initiation of relations, assertive influence, self-revelation, emotional support, and conflict solving. The first two competences (initiation of relations and assertive influence) are related to the concept of assertiveness. The other three were classified as especially significant for the deepening and sustaining of interpersonal relations.
One’s time at university is one of the most influential educational stages in one’s life and is a time of accumulation of changes related to a variety of dimensions of life. At university, young people, often away from their parents, learn how to be independent, make new friends, and make decisions related to their personal and professional lives. Zimbardo, Johnson and McCann (2009) note that being a university student is a significant stressor, or significantly difficult and serious challenge. What changes during this time is not only how we learn but also the expectations, the environment, social interactions and, as is the case with many young people, the existential and material sphere. Additional emotional experience is related to missing family and friends who used to be physically close and on whom we could count for their support. Efficient functioning in a new social environment requires activation of one’s interpersonal competences and development of new interpersonal relations. Students who easily develop interpersonal relations find it easier to cope with the problems they may encounter. They can use help offered by others and know when and how to ask others for help. Emotional intelligence is also an important adaptive function, as it is an indicator of one’s effectiveness in coping with life challenges (Salovey at al., 2002).
Interpersonal relations established by students in the new educational situation of university life are derived from their earlier social experiences and existing competences, and they can be based on domination, cooperation, or submissiveness. Wiggins (1995) claims that the interpersonal circumplex is the best structure for the visualisation of interpersonal behaviour because such behaviour influences every participant’s feelings of pride (Status) and security (Support). The concept of an interpersonal wheel conveniently describes the interpersonal relations of university students based on the student’s characteristic styles of introducing themselves and their chosen modes of communication.
Relations with others can help students meet certain needs, such as acceptance, regard, closeness, community, compassion, love, understanding, respect, support, justice, and trust. Contact with another person may have different functions and take different shapes, e.g., expressing one’s emotions, being exposed to others’ emotions, being listened to, showing or receiving compassion, revealing feelings, presenting one’s views or opinions, expressing needs, expressing expectations, asking for something, confronting others, receiving information about oneself, cooperating with others, playing, being someone important to others, seeking acceptance, sharing one’s experiences, seeking and obtaining advice on solving problems, solving conflicts, learning new behaviours, introspection, and receiving and offering support and help (Arthur, 2004).